Dysphoria sucks.

I don't really know what to do. Ever since I took a hiatus off writin' on substack, the pain of dysphoria has become more and more unbearable. Dysphoria is not just a mental barrier or insecurity, it's physically fuckin' painful. I don't ever feel like I'll be neutral like I want to, and gettin' up everyday to try exercisin' (since I have no access to HRT) to get the body I'm supposed to have is hard because executive dysfunction. I feel like I'm cavin' in from the inside, and I almost wish I could be cisgender. I'd be able to do a lot more with my intelligence, anyway.

I know this site used to be just a lighthearted personal site, but the reason I took a hiatus off my substack was because of one question, "how can I write when I don't know who I am?" The same idea apply to here, too (Plus, I'm expectin' a drawin' tablet so I can draw on my laptop, it'd be cool to have digital custom graphics!). I think, though, instead of a hiatus, I shouldn't leave this site to dust. I want to post, just not on social media. I want my own platform. I want my own space. I want to keep this website useful for something. So, instead, I will rebrand. There will be links to different pages of my ideas, experiences, and feelin's as a transgender non-binary person. I hope, dear reader, that anything here I write may be helpful to you too. Somehow.